Release party 5/08/09 at Bowery Poetry Club

Release party 5/08/09 at Bowery Poetry Club

Are you psyched?

The Red Party=The Crust Never Sleeps release party.



CNS stalwarts Pocketknife and Ava Luna will be performing, as well as the industrious lads of Asa Ransom. Artists will be arting. Fartists will be farting.

We will be giving out these:



It's gonna be excellent.

Crust Never Sleeps.


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Friday, May 8th, Two Thousand and Nine
Bowery Poetry Club
9pm to Close
Doors open at 9
http://www.redpartynyc.com/

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Marketing Report: A Message to our Shareholders

Marketing Report: A Message to our Shareholders

Above: mouse rocks Tekken, loves Cooling Pie Records' new comp, Crust Never Sleeps, Vol. 1

What it is piesans? As you all know by now, here at CPR we run with the mills.

In fact, I just dropped half a stack on a pair of Adidas not two and a half minutes ago.

Still, even though we're swimming in it (the mills, that is), we thought we'd let you all in on the way we survey our target market.

This morning I was videoconferencing with our PR boys out in Zürich, and I had them fax me over some data on the response we've been getting to our first compilation album, Crust Never Sleeps (which you can rock right here).

Figure 1:

In one survey, respondents were asked to choose one of five different "buzz" words to describe the overall sound of Crust Never Sleeps. The buzz words were "Delicious," "Awesome," "Sexual," "Cryptosexual," and "Gastrosexual."



You see, here at CPR we like to keep it real. We're forthright about our goings-on. Our processes. Let's have a look at another graph.



In this survey, an enormous pod of sperm whales was asked to choose between five different "buzz" words. As you can see, the real-ness trend only continues. Indeed, we are the shit.

All in all, I hope you enjoyed this inside look at our intricate and well-oiled promotional juggernaut.

Lotsa love,

ST




Also, this:

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Cooling Pie Records hits the FOOD NETWORK!

Cooling Pie Records hits the FOOD NETWORK!

We didn't want to get outdone by DL:



So now:

FOOOOD NETWORK

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Peanut Butter Pie

Peanut Butter Pie

While you're busy digesting our new compilation, we recommend you watch this video. Goes nice with some pie.

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:::CP010:::COOLING PIE RECORDS - CRUST NEVER SLEEPS VOL.1

:::CP010:::COOLING PIE RECORDS - CRUST NEVER SLEEPS VOL.1

So, if you're reading this today, you've probably noticed that it's not May 8th yet. Here's the explanation: just like every other highly-anticipated album of our nascent century, Crust Never Sleeps has somehow been leaked to the internet. We're not exactly sure how it happened, or even if we didn't somehow unconsciously leak the thing ourselves, but the fact remains that people are already listening to it. We thought about what happened for about 1 minute and came to the quick conclusion that we're absolutely fine with this and would like to "officially" release the thing here and now. So, without further ado...

Boom selekta:





You can use the player above to listen to all of the songs or download them, just click the little arrow to the right of the song. You'll have more fun if you go to Cooling Pie Records' Bandcamp Page. Bandcamp's a pretty cool way to release a record--you'll be able to download everything for free in the relatively 320kbps MP3 format. Feel free to embed the above player anywhere you like. Additionally, our offer still stands: if you'd like a hard copy, please email us! Aditionally, we'd love to get your thoughts on the compilation, so leave us a comment in this post to tell us what you think.

--

PRESS:

The Music Slut
Praise For Wallflower

MESSAGE BOARDS ON WHICH WE ARE FAMOUS NOW:
Incubus Messageboard (yes!!)
Mortigi Tempo (does this mean Radiohead approves?)

--

Regarding the making of this compilation, we'd like to thank all of the participating bands, artists, klingons, prostitutes, evil twins, and Jabba-the-Hut-esque mongoloids that helped this happen. Almost all of the tracks on Crust Never Sleeps are a result of a lot of people putting their minds to the task of creating a song that they otherwise not have. When we were putting the album together, we were all shocked by how cohesive everything was and, without getting too cheesy, I think that's a result of having a lot of talent in one place. Everybody should make sure to check all of these bands out, as we only featured people who are the best at what they do. Phew.

One last time, please goo to the Cooling Pie Records' Bandcamp Page and listen, download, enjoy.

It is free!

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CRUST NEVER SLEEPS Tracklisting!!

CRUST NEVER SLEEPS Tracklisting!!

Here we go...after a ton of work, we present you with the tracklisting of Cooling Pie's inaugural compilation album Crust Never Sleeps Vol. 1. Securing all of the bands and songs has been a labor of love and it turned into a truly international affair. We're also very excited for the release party on May 8th @ the Bowery Poetry Club (Details here!)

Anyways, feast yr eyes on the songs:


1. Bent By Elephants - Wrecker In The Dark
2. A Brief Smile - Something Is Going On
3. Little Bear and the Bad Touch - Polytonic Mountain
4. Clayton Scoble (of Francine) - Crooked Gait
5. Orphans and Vandals - Hey Driver
6. Day Sleeper - Untitled
7. Casiorossi - More Psychology
8. kc quilty - Supernova
9. Pocketknife - Buy Back The Boat
10. Ava Luna - (Do Me No Wrong) While I Am Gone
11. Jesse Miller (frmrly of Critter Jones) - Democracity
12. Team Teamwork - Suck It Or Not (Cam'ron + Lil Wayne + Wilco)
13. Jason Boyd (frmrly of Audiovent) - Lemons For Love
14. Several Girls Galore - Good & Beautiful
15. Randy Numens - Koilsnake


This is liable to change slightly in the next few days, but this is pretty much how the compilation will look. Check back here on May 8th to download/stream it for FREE. We also have a limited amount of CD copies of the compilation that are free, please email us if you'd like a free copy.

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Trailers that are probably better then the movies

Trailers that are probably better then the movies

For every shitty movie, there's the chance for a good trailer. After a little YouTube digging and wasted time I've dusted up five - count, five - trailers that keep it simple and stupid. Click along for pleasant suprises (and maybe even a few blacked-out memories):


5. Soylent Green
Soylent Green contains the worst kept surprise ending of all time. We are asked “What is Soylent Green?” and then given several hints (bodies on treadmills in a factory making little green patties followed by a struggle in presumably the same factory, those fantastic people scoopers) and Charlton just barely keeps from blurting it out at the very end. We’re introduced to most of the characters and what their purpose in the film is. Two of them even have their fates revealed. Everything is hand fed to you in this trailer and I’ve never heard others discuss the brilliance of Soylent Green besides the “It’s people!” line, so this trailer belongs on this list.

4. Watchmen
Everyone who read the novel was expecting to experience some level of disappointment in the film version (and our expectations were fully, forcefully at times, met.) But there was nothing lost in being treated to cinematic flashes of our favorite scenes with Billy C. singing along (the song was originally made for the soundtrack to Batman & Robin, so one can assume this is his angst at an all-time high.) For example, just from the bit with Nite Owl freaking out in the snow you could assess that he’s reacting to the nuking of Rorschach. There’s a lot of fun to be taken from that, unlike the actual scene, where Nite Owl’s presence actually spoils everything. Furthermore,

3. Doctor Dolittle (1967)
"You've never seen anything like it in your life" This trailer easily establishes the character Doctor Dolittle and what the entire film is about (Dr. Dolittle has found love) in the span of a just one song. And it might not be the song that anyone remembers or cares about but that's okay. Pay close enough attention, you’ll catch the two-headed llama – a little nugget of surprise that awards the attentive. And then Rex Harrison is given a slice of time to announce that Doctor Dolittle is “the first film in which a human being talks to animals”, then teases us with his ability. There are few directors brave enough to present the actor to the audience out of character. This trailer is pushing boundaries.


2. Doctor Dolittle (1998)
Oh how far we’ve come. This trailer has a TON of funny parts. It is also a pretty good representation of American culture circa late 1990’s. It’s also the archetypal mainstream PG/PG-13 comedy movie trailer: that distinctive comedy film narrator, the celebrity voice stars, early staged CGI, Eddie Murphy, established sound effects, record scratching! 40 years from now, this trailer will be required viewing for film studies courses.
Quick list of genuinely funny parts:
1. Preacher throttling little boy- That nerdy little kid looks horrified!
2. Eddie Murphy screams after discovering a hamster on his stomach- Just wacky as hell. Don’t even pretend you didn’t at least ironically smile.
3. Dog getting dragged to vet - I find this funny because if my dog could talk and more fully cognitive, he’d probably act the exact same way towards the prospect of having his manhood surgically removed.
4. Eddie Murphy, actor- I’m pretty sure this film is considered by most critics as the beginning of the end for Eddie Murphy. I did like Bowfinger, which IMDB says was made two years after this film, but after that, it’s kind of a sad little wasteland compared to his other films. Knowing this, the trailer is funnier.

1. Parents
This movie most likely sucks but wow, what a trailer! This trailed (proudly presented by VESTRON PICTURES) is a perfect collage of hauntingly vague imagery and meat close-ups and likely all of the film’s important dialogue. I don’t want to know what Randy Quaid is smiling about and any film that removes that mystery (likely this one) is complete garbage.

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SHOW TONITE

SHOW TONITE

kc quilty takes the stage tonight @ the delancey @ 8 o'clock. it's the A BRIEF SMILE EP release party!


the delancey:

By Subway: Take the J train to Essex st. or the F to Delancey Walk 1 1/2 blocks east.

see you there...

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Hang with us...

Hang with us...

Hey there CPR faithful (aka Luke and Justin)...we haven't been updating lately because we're hard at work putting together CRUST NEVER SLEEPS volume 1. Guess what? We have a SWEET stamp that says "Vol. 1"! I've been stamping Spencer's face and now he can't go out in public--bummer, but it gives him more time to work on putting this shit together.

As of right now, the tracklisting is as follows:

1. King Crimson - "21st Century Schizoid Man" (Fripp, McDonald, Lake, Giles, Sinfield) – 7:21
(including "Mirrors")
2. King Crimson - "I Talk to the Wind" (McDonald, Sinfield) – 6:05
3. King Crimson - "Epitaph" (Fripp, McDonald, Lake, Giles, Sinfield) – 8:47
(including "March for No Reason" and
"Tomorrow and Tomorrow")
4. King Crimson - Moonchild" (Fripp, McDonald, Lake, Giles, Sinfield) – 12:13
(including "The Dream" and
"The Illusion")
5. King Crimson - "The Court of the Crimson King" (McDonald, Sinfield) – 9:25
(including "The Return of the Fire Witch" and
"The Dance of the Puppets")
6. Randy Numens - I Fucked A Girl (Katy Perry remake)

I think it flows nicely but Spencer says we should use the songs that people actually sent us...so this is really liable to change.

Come back to this spot May 1st for the actual (less proggy) playlist.

In the mean time, here's a sick Larry Bird video:

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