Trailers that are probably better then the movies

For every shitty movie, there's the chance for a good trailer. After a little YouTube digging and wasted time I've dusted up five - count, five - trailers that keep it simple and stupid. Click along for pleasant suprises (and maybe even a few blacked-out memories):

5. Soylent Green
Soylent Green contains the worst kept surprise ending of all time. We are asked “What is Soylent Green?” and then given several hints (bodies on treadmills in a factory making little green patties followed by a struggle in presumably the same factory, those fantastic people scoopers) and Charlton just barely keeps from blurting it out at the very end. We’re introduced to most of the characters and what their purpose in the film is. Two of them even have their fates revealed. Everything is hand fed to you in this trailer and I’ve never heard others discuss the brilliance of Soylent Green besides the “It’s people!” line, so this trailer belongs on this list.

4. Watchmen
Everyone who read the novel was expecting to experience some level of disappointment in the film version (and our expectations were fully, forcefully at times, met.) But there was nothing lost in being treated to cinematic flashes of our favorite scenes with Billy C. singing along (the song was originally made for the soundtrack to Batman & Robin, so one can assume this is his angst at an all-time high.) For example, just from the bit with Nite Owl freaking out in the snow you could assess that he’s reacting to the nuking of Rorschach. There’s a lot of fun to be taken from that, unlike the actual scene, where Nite Owl’s presence actually spoils everything. Furthermore,

3. Doctor Dolittle (1967)
"You've never seen anything like it in your life" This trailer easily establishes the character Doctor Dolittle and what the entire film is about (Dr. Dolittle has found love) in the span of a just one song. And it might not be the song that anyone remembers or cares about but that's okay. Pay close enough attention, you’ll catch the two-headed llama – a little nugget of surprise that awards the attentive. And then Rex Harrison is given a slice of time to announce that Doctor Dolittle is “the first film in which a human being talks to animals”, then teases us with his ability. There are few directors brave enough to present the actor to the audience out of character. This trailer is pushing boundaries.

2. Doctor Dolittle (1998)
Oh how far we’ve come. This trailer has a TON of funny parts. It is also a pretty good representation of American culture circa late 1990’s. It’s also the archetypal mainstream PG/PG-13 comedy movie trailer: that distinctive comedy film narrator, the celebrity voice stars, early staged CGI, Eddie Murphy, established sound effects, record scratching! 40 years from now, this trailer will be required viewing for film studies courses.
Quick list of genuinely funny parts:
1. Preacher throttling little boy- That nerdy little kid looks horrified!
2. Eddie Murphy screams after discovering a hamster on his stomach- Just wacky as hell. Don’t even pretend you didn’t at least ironically smile.
3. Dog getting dragged to vet - I find this funny because if my dog could talk and more fully cognitive, he’d probably act the exact same way towards the prospect of having his manhood surgically removed.
4. Eddie Murphy, actor- I’m pretty sure this film is considered by most critics as the beginning of the end for Eddie Murphy. I did like Bowfinger, which IMDB says was made two years after this film, but after that, it’s kind of a sad little wasteland compared to his other films. Knowing this, the trailer is funnier.

1. Parents
This movie most likely sucks but wow, what a trailer! This trailed (proudly presented by VESTRON PICTURES) is a perfect collage of hauntingly vague imagery and meat close-ups and likely all of the film’s important dialogue. I don’t want to know what Randy Quaid is smiling about and any film that removes that mystery (likely this one) is complete garbage.