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Randy Numens vs. Lucas & The Cops

is this randy numens?

So we should probably address what occured the other night at the Randy Numens show that nearly occured at Potluck House.

Let me first preface this by stating that the people that run Potluck House are amazing and wonderful people for attempting to put on a show in a space that was far too small. Additionally, they opened up their home at the last second to take on a show that was originally intended to occur in a MUCH larger space. Kudos to them for even trying.

The Numens' boat arrived at Pier 86 at around 9 PM and Spencer and I quickly ferried them to the show in the CPR armored vehicle, along with all of their amps, drums, drum hardware, etcetera. Upon arriving at Potluck House, we were dismayed to find that Lucas, the drummer for openers Hello Boss had also brought all of his drum gear to and insisted on dragging it up into the size-too-small Potluck House performance space. We agreed to let him keep his shit upstairs if he would just keep it out of the way...so as the tiny room filled with smelly musicians carting boxes of gear around, the little guy dragged half of his crap into the tiny room. Lucas then insisted on putting his hot pink drum rug under the Numens' kit, so everything was moved around and replaced on his rug. Luckily, the Numens weren't privy to this because they were busy placing a collect call to the ISS Space Station and then were further occupied with freebasing cocaine off of a rusty spork.

the little fucker himself

At this point, the show organizers and I were both stressed but not out of control. A lot of times, when you've got a bunch of bands playing, at least one person is a a bit overly neurotic (see: controlling douchebag) but usually, things tend to go off alright. Despite various protestations, he insisted on using not two or even three but four cymbals in a room that barely had room for even a bass drum.

Hello Boss played an enjoyable set considering the room and sound limitations but directly afterwards, Lucas decided that he was taking off. This is a classic asshole musician move and of course, he told me he planned to take his rug and his drum throne (which admittedly nobody asked to borrow) and his rack tom (which he had assured us could be used by other bands). Lucas additionally took two of the Randy Numens' cymbal stands in his hurry to get out of the venue. The Numens were prepared to let this go but I made sure to give Lucas a piece of my mind before he left (and you can too! IM him @ chosungalbi). He later accused me of calling him names and physically attacking him, which is ridiculous because I'm a 3 foot midget with one leg.

So let's just say if you're ever playing a show with a band called Hello Boss, watch your gear carefully because Lucas Berman wants your equipment even though he's apparently loaded according to his bandmates--who for the record are some of the nicest people imaginable. I mean them no harm with this post, it's just that they really need a new drummer. Guys, if you're reading, I will gladly take Lucas' place.

Oh and by the way, the Randy Numens never even got to play. The cops showed up and shut the show down just as they were going on. Pretty shitty night.
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The Top Five Records of All Time (A Personal List)

I was speaking with a good fellow tonight and amidst conversation about more important things, the topic of top five records came up. This is dangerous territory; top five lists tend to be either boring or discrediting, and my main concern is twofold: one, that even if no one else is, I am quite tired of my own top five lists, and two, my top five record list is indeed quite rote. Does anybody need to hear my say that Exile on Main Street is a good album?

The answer is yes. I have decided to forgo my reservations and record this, my list of the top five albums of all time. But before I begin I must get a few things out of the way.

1. This is the last top five list I will make public. It truly is the most trivial kind of blog post, and if I wasn't taken with a sudden desire to write this, I would have stopped ages ago. There will not be a follow up list if it turns out I forgot something. Though you are welcome, nay encouraged, to respond with a list of your own. We may subsequently debate, and make merry.

2. They Might Be Giants will not be on this list, though they are very good.

3. Lists tend to be a fairly revealing exercise. I take the example of movie lists. If your favorite movie is The Truman Show, probably you haven't seen that many movies. If your favorite movie is Eternal Sunshine, you're probably a douchebag, and if your favorite movie is Yes Man, you probably don't care that much. Any of those positions are fine, but I think its far more interesting to say your favorite movie is, say, Pan's Labyrinth, which is a commendable choice but means your perspective is uniquely yours, than it is to say your favorite movie is the Godfather. Sadly my own list will tend more towards the latter, as my music tastes were defined primarily by the tapes my dad had in his car (a Chrysler LeBaron, no less).

4. Because I really want Rain Dogs on this list, but can't see fit to substitute anything else for it, this is actually going to be made up of six albums. Rain Dogs is very good besides, so go pick it up if you haven't.

So without further trepidation, let's begin:

6. Rain Dogs - Tom Waits

The shit that hit the fan the hardest. I find it increasingly difficult to say that Tom Waits doesn't just have like seven things he does very well that he does over and over, but this record's pretty fucking inspired. Also worth noting is I was inspired to pick it up based on Paul Rudd wearing a t-shirt with the album art on it in Knocked Up.

5. Wowee Zowee - Pavement

In which Stephen Malkmus gives up trying to be a rock star and retreats into his dickishness. But this is the album I will play for my children, the implausible majesty of a poetic musician who claimed to care only slightly and cared only slightly more.

4. Exile on Main Street - The Rolling Stones

Possibly the most vicious album of all time, and one that doesn't shy from dropping N bombs because Mick is not from America and doesn't care about it. Not that this concept doesn't appeal to the meanest-spirited part of my nature, but there's a certain vindication that a record of such cynicism was embraced by the earnest-at-large general public. And not one song is not awesome.

3. Highway 61, Revisited - Bob Dylan

I didn't like Dylan's quote about not liking nature because it can't touch the fortitude of dreams until I read Rousseau and realized that the enlightenment's obsession with the Natural is limiting and Dylan's invection is much further-reaching. Taken as a statement of philosophical weight, it injects his lyrical concepts with an artistic height that as much as I've always revered him, I never credited him with, and even if not, these are the songs on which Dylan's songwriting is at its premium. Much like Lil Wayne, its possible no one will really ever understand him completely, which ascribes a quite literal timelessness to this record for as long as anybody still cares. Also, a Wayne/Dylan collabo would be ideal.

2. The Velvet Underground & Nico - The Velvet Underground

Necessary. If I had a nickel for every time a band wasn't as good as the Velvet Underground...

1. Abbey Road - The Beatles

The real shit. This is it, the greatest album of all time; a statement about the state of the world (The Beatles would hereby like you to believe we are all connected, by love) pulled off with the grace and beauty that makes me believe it. If all music were this good I'm convinced there would be no wars. You hear that, Barack Obama? Start making music now.

And that is it. The six greatest things anybody has done to sound. And despite my initial acknowledgement of subjectivity, I now believe that this is pretty much Truth. That's what writing alone will do to you.

But if you were truly offended by this, here is the list of honorable mentions:

Astral Weeks - Van Morrison
Loaded - The velvet Underground
Greetings from Asbury, NJ - Bruce Springsteen
Hex Enduction Hour - The Fall
Doolittle - Pixies
Bee Thousand - Guided by Voices
Illmatic - Nas
Emperor Tomato Ketchup - Stereolab
The Lonesome Crowded West - Modest Mouse
Separation Sunday - The Hold Steady
Gimme Fiction - Spoon
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I thought White Rabbits and I were chums. I lovingly reviewed their debut album for MIT's The Tech before it came out in '07, likening it to The Strokes and The Specials and claiming it was better than if "half of the Beatles come back from the dead, reunite with McCartney and Starr and then team up with Radiohead to release a double-disc concept album." That was maybe a wee bit far-fetched* but it did inspire several of their parents to frame my review and hang it on their walls, and also send me e-mails about how grateful they were to me, blah blah blah. I went on to interview Stephen Patterson, the band's keyboardist and singer, and feel overall responsible for the band's success, popularity, talent, and birth.

A few weeks ago I e-mail them asking to play this festival I was organizing, and was sort of snubbed by their booking agent. WTF! Then out of nowhere they release this awesome new single "Percussion Gun" that sounds incredibly like labelmates Radiohead. WTF! Really, WTF, White Rabbits? Did I give you permission to get so damn good? Remember: I made you, and I can just as easily break you.

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You Be The Director

Hi Paul,

I was unable to speak with you Thursday and again on Monday because Dan was working with us. I have run into a slight conflict. My brother's last hockey game of the season is Saturday afternoon at the civic center in Hartford. Angus will be playing goalie and I have already committed to be there. I was wondering, seeing as I will be missing Dress, if you would rather I not perform on Sunday? If not, I perfectly understand. I will speak with you tomorrow.

Thank you, Rebecca