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Xmas Celebration!



Yo! Merry Xmas from CPR! We got a little present for everyone out there: Sadie of kc quilty recorded a cover of Weezer's "Christmas Celebration" in her basement and sent it to me and I'm putting it up here in honor of the holiday that I don't technically celebrate since I'm a Jew. Still, I'm finally learning to get into the spirit so here's her cover, literally five minutes after it was recorded:

Sadie Dupuis - Christmas Celebration (Weezer Cover) by coolingpierecords

Damn, if that don't get the blood flowing, then I don't know what will. Maybe some eggnog? Maybe a sexy santa?



I thought so...


Merry XMAS!
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Dopplegangers of the Day




They're both pretty ugtastic, no?
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::: CP017 ::: KC QUILTY / POCKETKNIFE - SIIYA/BUY BACK THE BOAT 7"



Hey kiddos...our new site is taking a bit longer to get up than I had hoped. Still, nobody can stop our furious flow of releases. So here with are with CPR's inaugural 7". kc quilty + pocketknife split this one...kc quilty's "Siiya" is going to be on their upcoming full length Clover/Coriander, out January 22nd. You might recognize Pocketknife's "Buy Back The Boat" from our own Crust Never Sleeps compilation. Now you can hear it again...on vinyl! I personally recommend you go buy the record and then play both songs at 33rpm. Everything's so slow...sooo sloooow..."Siiya" turns into smeary sludge metal and "Buy Back The Boat" sounds like smoking a shitload of opium and listening to Radiohead...or something. Anyways, that oughta pique your interest, right? You gotta get this thing.

SIIYA:
<a href="http://kcquilty.bandcamp.com/track/siiya">Siiya by kc quilty</a>
BUY BACK THE BOAT:
<a href="http://kcquilty.bandcamp.com/track/buy-back-the-boat">Buy Back the Boat by kc quilty</a>

Download the single for free on a certain breakfast food themed site...


kc quilty site
Pocketknife site
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week 1: tuesday dec 8th

i'm going to listen to all of rolling stone's top 500 albums in the next 5 weeks. i'm aiming for 100 albums a week. i've heard most of these and know a lot of them, so i'm starting with things i know well/haven't enjoyed in the past. i also started from 1 and am working towards 500, because i assume that the higher numbers will be somewhat more obscure and require more attention from a first-time listener.


1. Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, The Beatles
2. Pet Sounds, The Beach Boys
3. Revolver, The Beatles
4. Highway 61 Revisited, Bob Dylan
5. Rubber Soul, The Beatles
6. What's Going On, Marvin Gaye
7. Exile on Main Street, The Rolling Stones
8. London Calling, The Clash
9. Blonde on Blonde, Bob Dylan
10. The Beatles ("The White Album"), The Beatles
11. The Sun Sessions, Elvis Presley
12. Kind of Blue, Miles Davis
13. Velvet Underground and Nico, The Velvet Underground
14. Abbey Road, The Beatles
15. Are You Experienced?, The Jimi Hendrix Experience
16. Blood on the Tracks, Bob Dylan
17. Nevermind, Nirvana
18. Born to Run, Bruce Springsteen
19. Astral Weeks, Van Morrison
20. Thriller, Michael Jackson
21. The Great Twenty-Eight, Chuck Berry
22. Plastic Ono Band, John Lennon
23. Innervisions, Stevie Wonder
24. Live at the Apollo (1963), James Brown
25. Rumours, Fleetwood Mac
26. The Joshua Tree, U2
27. King of the Delta Blues Singers, Vol. 1, Robert Johnson
28. Who's Next, The Who
29. Led Zeppelin, Led Zeppelin
30. Blue, Joni Mitchell
31. Bringing It All Back Home, Bob Dylan
32. Let It Bleed, The Rolling Stones
33. Ramones, Ramones
34. Music From Big Pink, The Band
35. The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders From Mars, David Bowie
36. Tapestry, Carole King
37. Hotel California, The Eagles
38. The Anthology, 1947 - 1972, Muddy Waters
39. Please Please Me, The Beatles
40. Forever Changes, Love
41. Never Mind the Bollocks, Here's the Sex Pistols, The Sex Pistols
42. The Doors, The Doors
43. The Dark Side of the Moon, Pink Floyd
44. Horses, Patti Smith
45. The Band, The Band
46. Legend, Bob Marley and the Wailers
47. A Love Supreme, John Coltrane
48. It Takes a Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back, Public Enemy
49. At Fillmore East, The Allman Brothers Band
50. Here's Little Richard, Little Richard
51. Bridge Over Troubled Water, Simon and Garfunkel
52. Greatest Hits, Al Green
53. The Birth of Soul: The Complete Atlantic Rhythm and Blues Recordings, 1952 - 1959, Ray Charles
54. Electric Ladyland, The Jimi Hendrix Experience
55. Elvis Presley, Elvis Presley
56. Songs in the Key of Life, Stevie Wonder
57. Beggars Banquet, The Rolling Stones
58. Trout Mask Replica, Captain Beefheart and His Magic Band
59. Meet the Beatles, The Beatles
60. Greatest Hits, Sly and the Family Stone
61. Appetite for Destruction, Guns n' Roses
62. Achtung Baby, U2
63. Sticky Fingers, The Rolling Stones
64. Phil Spector, Back to Mono (1958 - 1969), Various Artists
65. Moondance, Van Morrison
66. Led Zeppelin IV, Led Zeppelin
67. The Stranger, Billy Joel
68. Off the Wall, Michael Jackson
69. Superfly, Curtis Mayfield
70. Physical Graffiti, Led Zeppelin
71. After the Gold Rush, Neil Young
72. Purple Rain, Prince
73. Back in Black, AC/DC
74. Otis Blue, Otis Redding
75. Led Zeppelin II, Led Zeppelin
76. Imagine, John Lennon
77. The Clash, The Clash
78. Harvest, Neil Young
79. Star Time, James Brown
80. Odessey and Oracle, The Zombies
81. Graceland, Paul Simon
82. Axis: Bold as Love, The Jimi Hendrix Experience
83. I Never Loved a Man the Way I Love You, Aretha Franklin
84. Lady Soul, Aretha Franklin
85. Born in the U.S.A., Bruce Springsteen
86. Let It Be, The Beatles
87. The Wall, Pink Floyd
88. At Folsom Prison, Johnny Cash
89. Dusty in Memphis, Dusty Springfield
90. Talking Book, Stevie Wonder
91. Goodbye Yellow Brick Road, Elton John
92. 20 Golden Greats, Buddy Holly
93. Sign 'o' the Times, Prince
94. Bitches Brew, Miles Davis
95. Green River, Creedence Clearwater Revival
96. Tommy, The Who
97. The Freewheelin' Bob Dylan, Bob Dylan
98. This Year's Model, Elvis Costello
99. There's a Riot Goin' On, Sly and the Family Stone
100. In the Wee Small Hours, Frank Sinatra
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Hang With Us

New site going up in t-minus 3 days....hold on there...
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Week 9: NFL Picks (Against spread, none of that crappy ESPN shit =D)
*Picks in bold
**Using Yahoo Pick'em lines

Atlanta Falcons (-10) vs. Washington Redskins
Chicago Bears vs. Arizona Cardinals (+3)
Baltimore Ravens (-3) @ Cincinnati Bengals
Indianapolis Colts (-9) vs. Houston Texans
New England Patriots (-10.5) vs. Miami Dolphins
Green Bay Packers (-9.5) vs. Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Jacksonville Jaguars (-6.5) vs. Kansas City Chiefs
New Orleans Saints (-13.5)
vs. Carolina Panthers
Seattle Seahawks (-10) vs. Detroit Lions
New York Giants vs. San Diego Chargers (+4.5)
San Fransisco 49ers (-4)
vs. Tennessee Titans
Philadelphia Eagles vs. Dallas Cowboys (+3)
Pittsburgh Steelers (-3)
@ Denver Broncos

Season Record: 71-44 (yeah!)
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GET OUT AND VOTE



Well I'm sold. Everyone make sure to get out and vote today, specifically for Jimmy McMillan. Jimmy has been running for mayor since at least the 90s on the platform of keeping rent down. Here's the platform:


New Political Party

We Built a "NEW" Political Party in the Largest City in the World, New York City, and we spent and raised no money. (NOW! Can We Get Some Respect) Send us an invitation to your event so that we can tell you WHY, and HOW we did it.

The RENT Is Too Damn High Party is the fastest growing Political Party in History.

General Elections, November 8, 2005. 1, 2, and 3 was on Television. If the (RITDH) party could have gotten on one of the Televised Mayoral Debates. New York City would have a New Mayor. The Rent Is Too Damn High Party came in (4th) Forth overall.

1) Republican

2) Democrat

3) Conservative

4) The RENT Is Too Damn High Party (RITDH)

5) Socialist Workers

6) Education Party

7) Libertarian Party

8) Green Party

Now Can We Get Some Respect. We Are Coming In 2009 To Win It All.


And here's his official song
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The 6 Types of Facebook Status Updaters

Before I start, I want to stress how incredible it is that almost every status fits into these six categories. All the examples I use were grabbed from the first two pages of status updates on my news feed (going back to a status posted 14 hours ago.)

I use Facebook a lot. I try and stay away from it but no matter what I tell myself, it's a god damn useful site. It easily allows me to reconnect with old friends, stay in touch with new ones, and adds a whole new level of social awkwardness to friendships. Hell, you can even now get stalked by your parents as adults start to latch onto the site.

There are more features, of course, but the one you see when you first log onto Facebook is the Status Update feature. It allows people to post little one-liners, links, etc. that all their friends see. Status updates intrigue me because they're all very similar (and, to be honest, some of them are just so stupid. I'm not saying I'm perfect. I'll throw in a stupid update once in a while.) After some real quick research of the last 14 hours of friend's status updates, I came up with the following six categories, as well as a few examples for each:

1) The "My Chemical Romance" emo updater
  • "I want to go home."
  • "Gym then homework for the rest of my life :("
  • I think I have drank (drunk?) my body weight in coffee in the past few hours DAMN YOU BIOLOGY BOOK!!
2) The unnecessary information/why do I want or need to know this giver/person
  • "why am i still awake"
  • "enough trying to sleep. gym then run"
  • "*sigh* tired *sigh*"
  • "ah. finally.. 6 hours of sleep yay!"
3) The random quote lover
  • "SPIDER PIG SPIDER PIG Does whatever a SPIDER PIG does Can he swing From a web No he cant He's a pig ... LOOK OOOUUUTTT!!!! He is a SPIDER PIG!!"
  • "I have come here to chew bubble gum and kick ass and I'm all out of bubble gum."
4) The song lyric poster
  • "Heaven is... a girl that makes dreams come true!"
  • "you might think I'm bulletproof but I'm not"
  • *Note: Yes, they are usually shitty songs, as evidenced here: Def Leppard and Taylor Swift. I guess it really depends on your friends.
5) The interactive updater
  • "Writing a policy memo on Southeast Asian and how the International community can help combat terrorism without weakening state sovereignty. Ideas?"
6) The link poster/news breaker
  • "My man Chris does a good interview. RT @SPINmagazine Chris Frantz on Talking Heads & More | Spin Magazine Online http://bit.ly/2kO40p"
  • "Grammar Girl's grammar devotional is out & gorgeous. Enter to win a copy by tweet w/ words Grammar Devotional and link: http://su.pr/2Fo3k5"
  • "http://www.cnn.com/2009/WORLD/europe/10/27/france.scientology.fraud/index.html"
Feel free to comment and let me know if you are aware of some more awesome status update categories.

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Last second show

Meant to post this up here earlier but CPR pals Pocketknife have themselves a lil CMJ show tonight. It's in an hour and a half. GET THERE!


Pocketknife plays @ 8:30 p.m.
Tickets are $8 and includes a free beer.

Check out the music and video here:
http://www.myspace.com/pocketknifesongs

Also playing is:
Black Taxi
A Million Years
Tall Tall Trees
NLX
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Cooling Pie Records CMJ Showcase


CLICK HERE to RSVP to our SUPER EXCLUSIVE CMJ PARTY! It's going to be so sick nasty! We've got Deerhunter, the Dear Hunter, and the Dears DJing, along with Wolf Parade, Wolf Eyes, and Wolfmother playing live sets. The show is in Times Square, aka the new Staten Island. Seriously if you miss this, you are not cool.

love,

CPR
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:::CP016::: THANK YOU MUSIC - OTTER KING OF THE ANIMALS




When Louie Glaser (Thank You Music) sent me these songs, I said "Hey you know, it looks like you've got a little avian theme going here." He just shrugged at me and claimed it was a coincidence but I don't buy that for a second. Otter King Of The Animals is a shockingly fully formed seven song EP that floored me enough that I needed put it out here. Even if one single person listens to it, it'll be worth it because these songs were burning a fucking hole in Louie's hard drive and that strikes me as incredibly unfair. Why should we be listening to the nth Phoenix remix of the week? Who gives a shit about a(nother) mediocre Built To Spill album? This is the real shit right here! You all may not realize it today, tomorrow, or the day after, but in accordance with Cooling Pie Records' strict policy of only putting out awesome shit, we've got a bonified hit on our hands (and in our minds). Either way Louie, don't tell me you didn't sit and sequence this sometime deep in the night, fantasizing about how the tracks fit together. If you didn't, well, I don't even know what to think. You probably need a better label to put your shit out... but this will do for now.



DOWNLOAD OTTER KING OF THE ANIMALS.zip






Thank You Music Myspace
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I'm taking my day off now


Today, we have a little song from Thank You Music's "Otter King Of The Animals" EP:

Thank You Music is also known as Louie, from A Brief Smile. He was sitting on the couch listening to his own tunes (what an ego he must have!) and listening from the next room over, I was floored at how great they were. The entire EP is a built-in-Macbook-mic + Garageband recording but due to Louie's seeming ingenuity, they sound great. Really fucking great. I pretty much decided on the spot that I needed to get the stuff out on this website. So we'll be putting up the rest of "Otter King Of The Animals" in the next week but until then:

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kc quilty wants you!

kc quilty needs your help. The truth of the matter is that being in a band that's not currently getting full release massages from Pitchfork on the daily costs a lot of dough. It's also not glamorous like people seem to think. We basically sink a shitload of money into doing what we like and see very little monetary return. Of course, we wouldn't keep doing it if we didn't love it (why the fuck else would we run a label in an industry that's completely fucked?!).

As it is, we're in a bit of a tough position. We don't have the money to properly record and print up their debut album "Clover/Coriander". Some tracks are done, others are not, and we are at the point where we have to give up Ollie's scallion pancakes for Ramen noodles. If any of you have had Ollie's scallion pancakes, this is a big deal. Ramen noodles suck. We are looking to raise one thousand dollars ($1000) to get this puppy off the ground. If you donate now through kickstarter, you can OWN a piece of this project. Check this out:





You donate and based on the level of your donation, you are promised a certain package of rewards. If we don't reach $1000, nobody pays. If we do, well then you get to see the project through with us. Here are the rewards we're offering:


PLEDGE $1 OR MORE
The satisfaction of doing good in the world, plus a personalized thank you email.

0 BACKERS
PLEDGE $2 OR MORE
Personalized thank you email including a free download of a brand new kc quilty song entitled "(It's Only) Two Dollars" written specifically for the $2 donors. The song will be unavailable elsewhere!

0 BACKERS
PLEDGE $3 OR MORE
Personalized thank you email including a free download of a brand new kc quilty song entitled "Three Dollars Ain't Free" written specifically for the $3 donors. The song will be unavailable elsewhere!

0 BACKERS
PLEDGE $4 OR MORE
Personalized thank you email including a free download of a brand new kc quilty song entitled "No More Than Four" written specifically for the $4 donors. The song will be unavailable elsewhere!

0 BACKERS
PLEDGE $5 OR MORE
Personalized thank you email + digital download of Clover/Coriander in the high quality format of your choice.

0 BACKERS
PLEDGE $10 OR MORE
Personalized thank you email + Free copy of Clover/Coriander.

0 BACKERS
PLEDGE $15 OR MORE
Personalized thank you email + Free copy of Clover/Coriander. + bonus EP featuring unreleased tunes, demos, outtakes, etc.

0 BACKERS
PLEDGE $30 OR MORE
Personalized thank you email + Free copy of Clover/Coriander. + bonus EP featuring unreleased tunes, demos, outtakes, etc. + two free admissions to the kc quilty show of yr choice.

0 BACKERS
PLEDGE $50 OR MORE
Personalized thank you email + Free copy of Clover/Coriander. + bonus EP featuring unreleased tunes, demos, outtakes, etc. + any member of kc quilty will kiss you. On the lips, sicko.

0 BACKERS
PLEDGE $60 OR MORE
Personalized thank you email + Free copy of Clover/Coriander. + bonus EP featuring unreleased tunes, demos, outtakes, etc. + we will thank you in the Clover/Coriander liner notes.

0 BACKERS
PLEDGE $100 OR MORE
Personalized thank you email + Free copy of Clover/Coriander. + bonus EP featuring unreleased tunes, demos, outtakes, etc. + we will thank you in the Clover/Coriander liner notes + admission to five kc quilty shows.

0 BACKERS
PLEDGE $120 OR MORE
LIMITED REWARD 3 of 3 remaining
Personalized thank you email + Free copy of Clover/Coriander. + bonus EP featuring unreleased tunes, demos, outtakes, etc. + we will thank you in the Clover/Coriander liner notes + we'll take you out to dinner.

0 BACKERS
PLEDGE $150 OR MORE
LIMITED REWARD 10 of 10 remaining
Personalized thank you email + Free copy of Clover/Coriander. + bonus EP featuring unreleased tunes, demos, outtakes, etc. + we will thank you in the Clover/Coriander liner notes. + live show provided by us at the house party or venue of your choice within the NYC area featuring a song dedicated to you.

0 BACKERS
PLEDGE $200 OR MORE
Personalized thank you email + Free copy of Clover/Coriander. + bonus EP featuring unreleased tunes, demos, outtakes, etc. + we will thank you in the Clover/Coriander liner notes. + live show provided by us at the house party or venue of your choice within the NYC area featuring a song dedicated to you + we will write and record a song about you and your generous ways.

0 BACKERS
PLEDGE $300 OR MORE
LIMITED REWARD 4 of 4 remaining
Personalized thank you email + Free copy of Clover/Coriander. + bonus EP featuring unreleased tunes, demos, outtakes, etc. + we will thank you in the Clover/Coriander liner notes. + live show provided by us at the house party or venue of your choice within the New England/Tri-State area featuring a song dedicated to you.

0 BACKERS
PLEDGE $1,000 OR MORE
LIMITED REWARD 2 of 2 remaining
Aforementioned + we will spend three days recording your band's album/EP/whatever. If you don't live in New York, we'll come to you.

0 BACKERS
PLEDGE $2,000 OR MORE
LIMITED REWARD 2 of 2 remaining
All of the aforementioned, and we'll play a show anywhere in the contiguous United States for you within the next year + you can join the band.



Help us make Clover/Coriander a reality! Help us eat scallion pancakes once again!
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:::CP011::: MARDUKE - THE FUTURE HAS COME AND GONE




<a href="http://marduke.bandcamp.com/album/the-future-has-come-and-gone">Tiny People by Marduke</a>


Fuck man, what's the point of having a lil record label if you can't put your own pet projects out?! Marduke is me, Julian Fader.

According to me a few hours ago:

"These days, there's really no such thing as a "demo" for the home recordist. "Sketches" become "demos" become "actual songs" and one hardly realizes that one has arrived. As it were, all of these are songs that started out as sketches for me. Some of them never got past that, some of them are much more "finished", whatever that means. I'll leave it up to you to figure out which are which; I like them all the same. Calling this a "solo album" would infer that I'm in some sort of popular band that garners enough attention that I would have the oppurtunity to "go solo". I'm not, although I am in kc quilty (www.myspace.com/kcquilty) and we are liable to melt your face off. These are just some songs that I made for myself because recording for me is like yoga or mediation for others. I zoned out, I made these songs, I think some other people might like them. If not, it's okay. They've already served their purpose."



There you have it. I'd love to hear what you have to say. The download is free but if you wanna throw a few dollars my way to keep this site/this music going, I'd be much appreciative.

Thanks.
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Brit Rock!

The Jesus & Mary Chain (with Hope Sandoval): "Sometimes Always" (Live on MTV)



I remember absentmindedly telling this girl I once dated that the thing I loved most about The Jesus & Mary Chain was their consistency. Thinking back to that time, I really have no idea what the fuck I was talking about.

I do love this song, though.

Blur: Chemical World (Live on TV)



Coxon is God. He also stops the song wayyyyyy early because he's wasted or something.

Teenage Fanclub: "The Concept" (Music Video)



This song, when I first heard it a few months ago, instantly transported me to 1992-3. That's a trip I like to take.

The La's: "There She Goes" (Live on Letterman)



Paul Schaffer plays some tambo on this shit. I once saw that dude perform at Carnegie Hall for this jazz piano series sponsored by, like, the 1,000th anniversary of Steinway & Sons or something. Dude is McLAME!

Stone Roses: "Elephant Stone"



This is far and away my favorite song on the Stone Roses eponymous debut. I enjoy how obsessed with themselves they are on this record. The first track is called "I Wanna Be Adored." If memory serves, there are at least two songs that mention the word "Stone" (this one and "Made of Stone"), and the final track is called "I Am the Resurrection."

British Sea Power: "Carrion" (Live on Jools Holland)



The shit!

Okay, bye.
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Thom Yorke solo band!

My mind was just blown when I saw this on dead air space:


hi
in the past couple of weeks i've been getting a band together for fun to play the eraser stuff live and the new songs etc.. to see if it could work!
here's a photo.. its me, joey waronker, mauro refosco, flea and nigel godrich.

at the beginning of october the 4th and 5th we are going to do a couple of shows at the Orpheum Theatre in Los Angeles.
we don't really have a name and the set will not be very long cuz ..well ...we haven't got that much material yet!
but come and check it out if you are in the area. we've also got locals Lucky Dragons playing.
all the best

Thom



Joey Waronker = Beck's Drummer
Flea = Flea
Nigel = Radiohead producer extraordinaire
Mauro Refosco = ???

Holy shit!
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:::CP014::: VAN GUMBY - MASTERS OF PANIC


<a href="http://vangumby.bandcamp.com/album/masters-of-panic-ep">Grecian Idol by Van Gumby</a>

"Dateline 2026. "To what can we attribute the current state of popular music?" ask the dyspeptic masses. Drivel-spewing automatons that have handily replaced music critics contend, "Van Gumby, circa 2009". To which the blithering morons might reply, "Who(m)(z)?"

Truly, little is known about this lyrical outfit. Its origins are vaguely understood, if at all. Its disappearance at the apex of fame is absolutely inexplicable. Top scientists have divined that the so-called "troupe" employed between three hundred and fifteen hundred people at any given time, each tasked with toggling a specific switch on a massive mainframe affectionately known as "GORLAC". Theories abounded as to how this behemoth machine produced a warbling humanoid voice and emulated the dulcet tones of feedback-bloated guitar work and sharp, cutting percussion. The last of these theorists was put to death in 2017, and theories have since ceased to abound.

Yet the all-encompassing legacy of Van Gumby is indelible, if not singularly stupefying. Not a single new artist or band distributes a shred of music without giving "mechaprops" to Van Gumby in the liner notes of their latest Compact HyperCube Holo-vessel. Not a single musical performance begins without the now-cliched primal scream of "all glory to Van Gumby and his army of lobotomized minions!" So can you really blame the modern-day "layfan" for not knowing Van Gumby the band from Van Gumby the ancient mythical creature? Local idiot Dr. Julian Fader IX told me, through his feeding tube, "Van Gumby is a band? WTF (sic)! Considering the number of small rodents and wildfowl that have been sacrificed in his name before shows, who would have thought that he was anything other than some sort of gargantuan manifestation of death itself?" Truer words have never been spoken by a full-bore mongoloid.

So it is that Van Gumby, at some point in its opaque history, transitioned from an actual musical production system into a post-pop-cultural faux-reference. How and when this transition occurred is currently being processed on a large machine purportedly capable of calculating the meaning of life (that question is second in queue). I am apprehensive of the result of this procedure, as perhaps it is best for future generations if we were to remain shrouded. A Unified Van Gumby Theory (UVGT) has long been assumed to portend the immediate destruction of the universe. I shall perish this thought and leave you instead with another gem from the famous inbred barbarian Dr. Julian Fader IX, who, upon my egress from his feces-laden steel cage, exclaimed without provocation, "You call these bagels?""

- Prasad Patil, 9/9/09
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Pocketknife "Feels" Video

Pocketknife's got a video for their song Feels and it's beautiful. You might remember them from our Crust Never Sleeps compilation. Check the video below...it made my night.

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Casiorossi review up @ awmusic.ca

Casiorossi is blowing up!

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:::CP013::: CASIOROSSI - DON'T FORGET TO DIE EP



<a href="http://coolingpierecords.bandcamp.com/album/dont-forget-to-die-ep">Rainbow Convent by Cooling Pie Records</a>


Are you guys aware of Casiorossi yet? My friends, I present to you one of the three best unknownish bands in the Tri-State Area (the other two being Pocketknife and kc quilty of course). Casiorossi is a power trio in the best rock and roll sense of that word...Alex plays really loud guitars, Carlos plays un-drummerly drums, and Ethan the bassists last name is supposedly Bassford. Is it true? Is it part of the lore? What the fuck is going on here? How are these guys not famous? They're like Times New Viking or Dinosaur Jr, but better. Stream the album below.


The inspiration for the ep was the 4 PIL-like seconds of an hour-long semi-cogent jam we had while recording the comp track.
I was thinking about how to go about the structure of ode to restraint at the moment I got into a bike accident on the brooklyn bridge. This actually made the song much worse I think, as opposed to more "impassioned" or something. This was the first time we used multiple tracks.



go to our bandcamp page for more infoez
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:::CP012::: AVA LUNA - 3RD AVENUE ISLAND





IT IS HERE!!!

If you're in the know, you've already gotten Ava Luna's new album at one of their blistering live shows. For the rest of us, CPR is proud to present the pretty-much-official release of 3RD AVENUE ISLAND.

<a href="http://coolingpierecords.bandcamp.com/album/3rd-avenue-island">We Were Young by Cooling Pie Records</a>

We did all of the instrumental tracks in one day. The ladies' vocals were done in two days and the lead vocals were completed in one sitting. Everything was recorded at the Trinity Korean Methodist Church in Gravesend, Brooklyn.


Ava Luna also has some handmade CDs for sale. Buy a nice hard copy one for seven bucks!













go to our bandcamp page for more infoez
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Coolest Band Intro This Side of the Mississippi

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Sorry you missed us

Hey there CPR faithful. We haven't been updating because I (Julian) have been busy recording stuff with kc quilty and other people and none of my deadbeat friends want to write for this wonderful site. I did throw up a few photos of our recording sessions so far:










Looks good eh? Coming soon, we'll have a kc quilty full length, an Ava Luna full length, a Casiorossi EP and at LEAST one split CPR 7" in September. Keep lookin' forward, we'll be back very very soon....
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WZBC Stream



CLICK HERE to hear a stream of today's WZBC radio show "The Conscription of Our Children" featuring yours truly. I want to thank Brendan for interviewing me on the show and letting me play a bunch of songs from Crust Never Sleeps (and other places).

I enjoyed being on the radio because I like to hear my own voice in headphones, although I do not like to sing...go figure. I also took some pictures but they're on my disposable camera so I'll post em up in the next few days, for now, the stream will have to suffice. My only regret is not being able to play the comp in its entirety--I had to make due with picking a few randomly. Next time, I'd like to spin it in its entirety.

Let me know what you think--do I have a future in radio(head)?!
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Radio is the FUTURE!


I (Julian) am going to be on WZBC 90.3 this afternoon from 3-5PM. My pal Brendan Hadcock is graciously allowing me to come on his show and guest DJ a little bit. We'll probably chat about the compilation and play some tunes off of it, so tune in!

Honestly, the best case scenario is we get to play Cooling Pie stuff on the air. The worst case scenario is that I make a fool of myself on the air. Regardless, you want to hear what happens. If you're in the Boston/Cambridge/Newton/Brookline area, set your dials for 90.3 FM. If you're elsewhere, head over to WZBC's website and listen to the live stream.

We'll be giving away copies of the compilation on the air to anybody who calls in, so if you want one, you can call me!
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NBA Finals Prediction/Preview

Here We Go Magic!

Detailed preview/prediction coming later.

Also, check this out:


(click it)

Awesome.
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I > Wavves



That's not even the bad part of his fuck-up. He says:

Mixing ecstasy valium and xanax before having to play in front of thousands of people was one of the more poor decisions I've made(duh) and I realize my drinking has been a problem now for a good period of time.
Ouch. Good move, Wavves. I guess he's taking all those drugs because he's "So Bored."





+



+



+


(Says the DEA)

+

Lack of guitar skill

=

Wavves fucking up. Hopefully he learns, because I do feel kind of bad for him.

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Another NBA announcer video

I enjoyed those last few posts Sam made about crazy NBA shit and I managed to find this too:

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Quack Quack Quack! I Got Da Ball!





He stayed in the game after. The NBA used to be ridiculous, in a good way. Now it's usually ridiculous in a bad way. Remember when Artest went into the stands?



Artest is a funny guy. We all remember the time when he pulled down Pierce's pants in a game while with the Pacers. It didn't work, because Pierce continued on with the play and drained a three over Artest. But I came across this awesomeness, which is after the replay (about 45 seconds in). Artest wrote a little song to apologize to Pierce.



<3 Artest

Edit: Here's a Cedric Maxwell rap compilation. It will help explain the title. I know it's really annoying but there is a lack of Maxwell broadcasting videos on Youtube, though there are plenty of highlight reels.

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I Love Bill Simmons

The officiating in the NBA is getting worse, and it seems that this years playoffs have highlighted the problems. Adding fuel to the fire, Bill Simmons wrote an article that appeared today on ESPN (link). It's all about how shitty referees have become, and how they're ruining the playoffs this year. He brings up a lot of really good points, like usual.


First, the NBA can't seem to replenish its officiating ranks. 1937, 1939, 1943, 1944, 1947, 1948, 1950, 1951, 1951, 1953, 1954, 1955, 1955 ... those are the actual birth years of 13 current referees. In professional sports, athletes slip from the ages of 34 to 39 unless they extend their stay with PEDs. In the NBA, in which officials are required to run or jog for 150 minutes and make split-second decisions on hundreds of plays, we're expected to believe that the aging process doesn't apply.
I knew Dick Bavetta could be my great-grandfather, but I didn't realize just how many of these guys are AARP card-holders, or at least close to it. Obviously they won't be able to keep up with freakishly-athletic players playing one of the faster paced professional sports out there. Sure, they would be fine officiating baseball, where there is an umpire on each corner of the field and there's basically no movement required. Some new, fresh officiating talent is needed to make the NBA great just as much as exciting, young players like Rondo are.

My favorite game ever (and not just because Boston won) was Game 4 of the 1984 Finals, the ultimate example of stacked teams battling with an extra edge. I rewatched it last summer and couldn't get over how it would have been wrecked today. McHale gets tossed for the Rambis clothesline. Bird gets T'd for nudging Cooper out of bounds. Kareem gets tossed for nearly slicing off Bird's wispy mustache with an elbow. Maxwell gets T'd for walking across the lane and choking himself after Worthy's missed free throw. On the crucial play of OT, when Magic gets switched onto Bird and they fight for position down low -- with Bird finally draining a turnaround over Magic's mug -- the officials would have called Magic for a foul before Bird's shot happened. Six of the iconic moments of the game ... ruined. Could they have competed as hard with the current rules? No.
Today, these would all be Flagrant-2's, or Flagrant-7's, or whatever. Those numbers are ridiculous anyway. I don't even really know how to react to this.

In that respect, Jordan was both the best and worst thing ever to happen to the league. You know the good things he did, but he also paved the way for a generation of one-on-one players who careen toward the basket in big moments, create some form of contact and hope officials will bail them out.
Completely true. LeBron did it two nights ago, hitting two free throws with less than a second left. Sometimes players do draw actual contact, but other times, they don't, and fouls are called anyway because, well, who knows why. Referees like to please the stars.

Another underrated problem: The three referees are constantly in flux during games. Joey Crawford might end up under Cleveland's basket on one side and standing at midcourt on Orlando's side.
This is something I have never thought of, but it makes perfect sense. In the NFL, the referees have certain positions assigned, like the Head Linesman, who stands at one end of the line of scrimmage, or the Field Judge, who stands down field to watch the secondary (read on Wiki). In the NBA, the refs just kinda run and try and follow the play the best they can, but don't really seem to have assigned spots. I think this is one of the key points in Simmons' argument and something that is very overlooked. With this in my mind, while watching the game tonight, I'll be focusing more on the positioning of the refs.

(The following is absolutely true: Last week, the NBA sent out a memo for its Development League Referee Tryout Camp, which is scheduled for June 19-21 in Los Angeles. Participants officiate two games with prospective D-League players and need a minimum of two years experience at the high school level or higher. Not only do the participants have to pay their own way to get there, but the NBA charges them a $550 fee that covers "lodging for two nights at the camp headquarters, transportation to and from the games, and a camp officiating jersey." YOU HAVE TO PAY TO TRY OUT! The NBA, where amazingly dumb happens.

I doubt that the people who attend this camp even get a second look by the NBA. Simmons suggests paying the D-League refs more money to attract young talent that the NBA can groom. This seems like a great idea, especially as the NBA is in a pretty solid financial situation and could afford a small bump in salaries.

I love Bill Simmons because he is just like me and you, but instead of spending all his time bitching and complaining to friends, he writes excellent articles about pertinent sports issues. This article is no exception.

Oh, and Ortiz just struck out again. They just showed a clip of him in the dugout breaking his bat over his knee. Sad to see his fall.

Here's some Passion Pit to piss off Julian (this song's pretty good, but I really don't like the rest of their new album, 'Manners.')



And here's a really good Atlas Sound song:



The whole album that this comes from, Let The Blind Lead Those Who Can See But Cannot Feel, is better when listened through as a whole, rather than a song at a time. Just keep that in mind when listening.
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New Google Images Feature? + Summer Song Mix

Well, I don't know if this feature has been active for a while and I just missed it or if it's a brand new thing, but there's a Google Image feature I haven't seen before: the ability to narrow down an image search based on color. Click this link (HERE) and you will see all the orange-colored dinosaurs on the Google Image database. I think this is just downright cool, like a lot of things Google does.

On an unrelated note, here are some good Summer songs that I'm currently into:

Phoenix - 1901 (Off of the new album, Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix, due out May 26th)



Animal Collective - My Girls (Merriweather Post Pavillion)



Deerhunter - Rainwater Cassette Exchange (Rainwater Cassette Exchange EP)

This just came out, so it's not even on the almighty Songza yet. But check it out somewhere.

St. Vincent - Actor Out of Work (Actor)



Blitzen Trapper - Furr (Furr)



Yeasayer - 2080 (Live) (All Hour Cymbals)



So yeah, that's my list. Sorry about all these videos, according to Julian I ruined Songza ever since I accessed the website.

Oh yeah, and this is my first post, so maybe a little introduction is merited. I'm the little brother/superior sibling of Julian, aka CEO of Cooling Pie. If I had to have a title, it would be 'New Media Director of CPR,' but that's only because I signed Julian up for Twitter.

I'll leave you with this very cool Modeselektor remix of Thom Yorke's Skip Divided:



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TTH Label: I Am Entertained

As a co-founder of Cooling Pie, I make sure to keep abreast on other online record labels that are doing similar things.  I've got pals who run Tamur Records and Amazing Wow but by far my favorite online record label (besides CPR of course) is the omnipotent TTH Label.

I am using the <> tag in honor of TTH Label because their site is straight outta 1998.  Their understanding of selling music on the internet music industry appears to be stuck around the same time, while their understanding of the English language seems stuck back in whatever year English was invented.  Observe:

We are the first company to combine a cd duplication company with an indie music store. The artist can only benefit from this, as it virtually eliminates upfront costs to sell cds online. Pay nothing to start, a rate is taken out after each cd is produced and sold. This is the same rate other stores charge just to sell a cd, and they didn't make it


Why would they do this?  As a fan of CDs, I have to say, I'm not sure that this focus on CDs that TTH has makes much sense in 2009.  Couldn't they work on selling just MP3s and have a greater profit margin?  Couldn't they work on having a website that's not confusing as hell?  And yet, the labrynthian website is actually the most entertaining site I've read tonight.  It continues:

We provide a website free of annoying 3rd party advertisements. Personally those flashy advertisements are just downright annoying to us.

Again, go look at the site.  Not an ad to be found.  Also, the entire site is flashy (for 1998) and annoying.

The site is entertaining but the best thing about TTH is that whoever the hell is in charge likes to seek out TTH naysayers in order to silence them.  Check it out:

You all are a bunch of ignorent morons that need to smarten the hell up.

None the less Culture of greed don't go trying to slander my name because you couldn't follow instructions, I can 110% prove your post up there is a bunch of bullshit.

You want some cheese with that wine? Do you? You didn't like it because you were unable to read the english language, go back to school and then try again, out of 1017 people you're the only idiot that had to start problems because you couldn't follow instructions.

And the rest of you idiots, you are so quick to talk shit without knowing what the hell you are talking about. What i'm doing is praised by thousands, if I started posting the compliments I've received from artists I'd max your sql space out on your database.

By the way culture, I knew you'd do something like this, go stick your cds into a cd player than can read cd text and tell me what it says?

Who's laughing now?
   


This is the owner of a label.  In a public forum.  I'm hoping he reads this and spams us and we can ride his coattails to fame.  Come get some TTH!!


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Email of the Week

Subject: DEVASTRATION
From: David Sokoll
Date: 5/23/09 11:55 AM
To: Cooling Pie Records


OH GOD NO.
what.
ITS HERE.
what.
DEVASTRATION.
what.
WhAt time is THe barbque?
wat
wot
wut
wuht
woht
waht
thwat
thwit
thwot
thwish
thwishes
thrishes
fishes
dish is
kish
kesh.


Thanks Dave!  What the hell are you drinking/smoking/snorting/injecting/huffing/absorbing/surgically implanting at 11:55AM?!  Fair readers: how do I respond to this epic email?

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I fuck all day/That's why I stink



No introduction needed for this. The future of hip hop remains bright.

-J
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Catching up with 1999

Fact: Did you know that email is 10-20 times faster than Twitter?
Fact: Did you know mailing lists are the wave of the future?
Truth: Sign up for ours and we'll send you free mp3s and other stuff. DO it.



Also, here's what I'm currently obsessed with:

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Blame it on the juice





"late night sex/so wet and so tight..."


kc quilty's been doing a fair amount of recording with Carlos (of Ava Luna down at his Coney Island "recording studio". I say "recording studio" because it's actually the basement of a Korean church. It's somewhat roach infested with low ceilings and it's frequently freezing cold down there in almost any weather. All signs point it it sounding like crap and yet, it's a magical place. Carlos has been doing a lot of awesome sounding stuff down there with pretty much zero dollars worth of equipment. He's got a Mackie PA thing and some decent speakers, a bunch of cruddy vocal mics, and some old German thing called Das Kompressor or soemthing. Casiorossi, Ava Luna, and kc quilty have all been down there among others, check their respective myspace pages, or songs on the Crust Never Sleeps page) for examples.

This isn't just a self promotional post though, I have a point I'm getting around to here. Basically, Carlos is usually generous enough to drive us to and/or from Coney Island because it's a helluva long trip and we're usually recording in the middle of the night. The last few time's we've ridden with him, he's had Hot 97 on the radio, which I have no bones with. In mid-2009, Hot 97 is a tutorial in auto-tune, Melodyne, and synth strings. It's awesome. A lot of the songs sound similar though because they're all run through the same plugins on the same settings I think. And oh god, they play the SAME TWO SONGS over and over.

One of those songs is Jamie Foxx's Blame It (On The Alcohol). First of all, kudos to Jamie for putting out a song with parenthesis. I LOVE parenthesis songs. Second of all, kudos to Jamie for putting out the best/worst song ever. Just listen:



That's T-Pain on the chorus. And Jamie on the verse. Can you hear the difference? It's a pretty medicore song until it hits the chorus with it's stuttering a-a-a-a-a-a effect. I have no idea how/if he does this live. The craziest thing is, Jamie Foxx can actually sing. Why is he bathed in autotune? I'm repulsed and obsessed at the same time.

The other Hot 97-on-the-way-to-Coney-Island song that I keep hearing is "Whatever You Like" by T.I. It would have been cooler if he had called it "(You Can Have) Whatever You Like", but I'll forgive him because it's actually a pretty good song. The chorus vocals are really behind the beat--it's probably the only song I hear on Hot 97 that made me think of Billie Holiday. I mean, it's no "Strange Fruit", but I think it works for Avenue X at 3 AM.

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AWOLASAPMIA

Sheeeiiiiit son....we ignored this blog for TOO long considering how much there is to say! Things have been busy and rockin' here @ Cooling Pie HQ.


THE PAST:



First of all, we had a terrific release party for Crust Never Sleeps last Friday. As you problably know by now, the night featured CPR stalwarts Pocketknife & Ava Luna, as well as Asa Ransom, who I'm pretty sure are going to blow the fuck up any minute now. Here's a pic from the party:



Pretty cool huh? We gave out a lot of PIE and about one majillion copies of Crust Never Sleeps. Shit was tight. Which reminds me, if you haven't checked it out yet:


<a href="http://coolingpierecords.bandcamp.com/album/crust-never-sleeps-vol-1">Bent By Elephants - Wrecker in the Dark by Cooling Pie Records</a>



THE PRESENT:

Spencer and I are sitting here and listening to the new Wilco album. It's called "Wilco (The Album", which sort of worried me at first because it sounded a little too cheeky. My fears have been assuaged as of the fourth track "Bull Black Nova". This (Wilco the) album is amazing (so far). The recording seems to harken back a little bit to "A Ghost Is Born" and the songs have the simple feel of "Sky Blue Sky" but unlike the latter, it's good. Oh shit, now Feist is singing. Crap, did I jinx this thing? I don't really want to hear her singing backup on this song, it's pretty awkward. When famous people sing backing vocals, they shoul be BURIED in the mix. She's practically louder then him. I want this song to end. This is some dad rock shit right here. I need to write about something else in order to allow the album to get good again.

THE FUTURE:


- We're gonna be doing some sort of Casiorossi release on June 31st. Get ready for it
- Cas Kaplan from Day Sleeper is currently working on a solo release that we're gonna put out.
- kc quilty is working on something secret.

Stay tuned, we're gonna keep posting awesome stuff up here. Cuz we rock.
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Release party 5/08/09 at Bowery Poetry Club

Are you psyched?

The Red Party=The Crust Never Sleeps release party.



CNS stalwarts Pocketknife and Ava Luna will be performing, as well as the industrious lads of Asa Ransom. Artists will be arting. Fartists will be farting.

We will be giving out these:



It's gonna be excellent.

Crust Never Sleeps.


V
Friday, May 8th, Two Thousand and Nine
Bowery Poetry Club
9pm to Close
Doors open at 9
http://www.redpartynyc.com/

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Marketing Report: A Message to our Shareholders




Above: mouse rocks Tekken, loves Cooling Pie Records' new comp, Crust Never Sleeps, Vol. 1

What it is piesans? As you all know by now, here at CPR we run with the mills.

In fact, I just dropped half a stack on a pair of Adidas not two and a half minutes ago.

Still, even though we're swimming in it (the mills, that is), we thought we'd let you all in on the way we survey our target market.

This morning I was videoconferencing with our PR boys out in Z├╝rich, and I had them fax me over some data on the response we've been getting to our first compilation album, Crust Never Sleeps (which you can rock right here).

Figure 1:

In one survey, respondents were asked to choose one of five different "buzz" words to describe the overall sound of Crust Never Sleeps. The buzz words were "Delicious," "Awesome," "Sexual," "Cryptosexual," and "Gastrosexual."



You see, here at CPR we like to keep it real. We're forthright about our goings-on. Our processes. Let's have a look at another graph.



In this survey, an enormous pod of sperm whales was asked to choose between five different "buzz" words. As you can see, the real-ness trend only continues. Indeed, we are the shit.

All in all, I hope you enjoyed this inside look at our intricate and well-oiled promotional juggernaut.

Lotsa love,

ST




Also, this:


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Cooling Pie Records hits the FOOD NETWORK!




We didn't want to get outdone by DL:



So now:

FOOOOD NETWORK
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Peanut Butter Pie

While you're busy digesting our new compilation, we recommend you watch this video. Goes nice with some pie.


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:::CP010:::COOLING PIE RECORDS - CRUST NEVER SLEEPS VOL.1

So, if you're reading this today, you've probably noticed that it's not May 8th yet. Here's the explanation: just like every other highly-anticipated album of our nascent century, Crust Never Sleeps has somehow been leaked to the internet. We're not exactly sure how it happened, or even if we didn't somehow unconsciously leak the thing ourselves, but the fact remains that people are already listening to it. We thought about what happened for about 1 minute and came to the quick conclusion that we're absolutely fine with this and would like to "officially" release the thing here and now. So, without further ado...

Boom selekta:


<a href="http://coolingpierecords.bandcamp.com/album/crust-never-sleeps-vol-1">Bent By Elephants - Wrecker in the Dark by Cooling Pie Records</a>


You can use the player above to listen to all of the songs or download them, just click the little arrow to the right of the song. You'll have more fun if you go to Cooling Pie Records' Bandcamp Page. Bandcamp's a pretty cool way to release a record--you'll be able to download everything for free in the relatively 320kbps MP3 format. Feel free to embed the above player anywhere you like. Additionally, our offer still stands: if you'd like a hard copy, please email us! Aditionally, we'd love to get your thoughts on the compilation, so leave us a comment in this post to tell us what you think.

--

PRESS:

The Music Slut
Praise For Wallflower

MESSAGE BOARDS ON WHICH WE ARE FAMOUS NOW:
Incubus Messageboard (yes!!)
Mortigi Tempo (does this mean Radiohead approves?)

--

Regarding the making of this compilation, we'd like to thank all of the participating bands, artists, klingons, prostitutes, evil twins, and Jabba-the-Hut-esque mongoloids that helped this happen. Almost all of the tracks on Crust Never Sleeps are a result of a lot of people putting their minds to the task of creating a song that they otherwise not have. When we were putting the album together, we were all shocked by how cohesive everything was and, without getting too cheesy, I think that's a result of having a lot of talent in one place. Everybody should make sure to check all of these bands out, as we only featured people who are the best at what they do. Phew.

One last time, please goo to the Cooling Pie Records' Bandcamp Page and listen, download, enjoy.

It is free!
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CRUST NEVER SLEEPS Tracklisting!!



Here we go...after a ton of work, we present you with the tracklisting of Cooling Pie's inaugural compilation album Crust Never Sleeps Vol. 1. Securing all of the bands and songs has been a labor of love and it turned into a truly international affair. We're also very excited for the release party on May 8th @ the Bowery Poetry Club (Details here!)

Anyways, feast yr eyes on the songs:


1. Bent By Elephants - Wrecker In The Dark
2. A Brief Smile - Something Is Going On
3. Little Bear and the Bad Touch - Polytonic Mountain
4. Clayton Scoble (of Francine) - Crooked Gait
5. Orphans and Vandals - Hey Driver
6. Day Sleeper - Untitled
7. Casiorossi - More Psychology
8. kc quilty - Supernova
9. Pocketknife - Buy Back The Boat
10. Ava Luna - (Do Me No Wrong) While I Am Gone
11. Jesse Miller (frmrly of Critter Jones) - Democracity
12. Team Teamwork - Suck It Or Not (Cam'ron + Lil Wayne + Wilco)
13. Jason Boyd (frmrly of Audiovent) - Lemons For Love
14. Several Girls Galore - Good & Beautiful
15. Randy Numens - Koilsnake


This is liable to change slightly in the next few days, but this is pretty much how the compilation will look. Check back here on May 8th to download/stream it for FREE. We also have a limited amount of CD copies of the compilation that are free, please email us if you'd like a free copy.
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Trailers that are probably better then the movies


For every shitty movie, there's the chance for a good trailer. After a little YouTube digging and wasted time I've dusted up five - count, five - trailers that keep it simple and stupid. Click along for pleasant suprises (and maybe even a few blacked-out memories):


5. Soylent Green
Soylent Green contains the worst kept surprise ending of all time. We are asked “What is Soylent Green?” and then given several hints (bodies on treadmills in a factory making little green patties followed by a struggle in presumably the same factory, those fantastic people scoopers) and Charlton just barely keeps from blurting it out at the very end. We’re introduced to most of the characters and what their purpose in the film is. Two of them even have their fates revealed. Everything is hand fed to you in this trailer and I’ve never heard others discuss the brilliance of Soylent Green besides the “It’s people!” line, so this trailer belongs on this list.

4. Watchmen
Everyone who read the novel was expecting to experience some level of disappointment in the film version (and our expectations were fully, forcefully at times, met.) But there was nothing lost in being treated to cinematic flashes of our favorite scenes with Billy C. singing along (the song was originally made for the soundtrack to Batman & Robin, so one can assume this is his angst at an all-time high.) For example, just from the bit with Nite Owl freaking out in the snow you could assess that he’s reacting to the nuking of Rorschach. There’s a lot of fun to be taken from that, unlike the actual scene, where Nite Owl’s presence actually spoils everything. Furthermore,

3. Doctor Dolittle (1967)
"You've never seen anything like it in your life" This trailer easily establishes the character Doctor Dolittle and what the entire film is about (Dr. Dolittle has found love) in the span of a just one song. And it might not be the song that anyone remembers or cares about but that's okay. Pay close enough attention, you’ll catch the two-headed llama – a little nugget of surprise that awards the attentive. And then Rex Harrison is given a slice of time to announce that Doctor Dolittle is “the first film in which a human being talks to animals”, then teases us with his ability. There are few directors brave enough to present the actor to the audience out of character. This trailer is pushing boundaries.


2. Doctor Dolittle (1998)
Oh how far we’ve come. This trailer has a TON of funny parts. It is also a pretty good representation of American culture circa late 1990’s. It’s also the archetypal mainstream PG/PG-13 comedy movie trailer: that distinctive comedy film narrator, the celebrity voice stars, early staged CGI, Eddie Murphy, established sound effects, record scratching! 40 years from now, this trailer will be required viewing for film studies courses.
Quick list of genuinely funny parts:
1. Preacher throttling little boy- That nerdy little kid looks horrified!
2. Eddie Murphy screams after discovering a hamster on his stomach- Just wacky as hell. Don’t even pretend you didn’t at least ironically smile.
3. Dog getting dragged to vet - I find this funny because if my dog could talk and more fully cognitive, he’d probably act the exact same way towards the prospect of having his manhood surgically removed.
4. Eddie Murphy, actor- I’m pretty sure this film is considered by most critics as the beginning of the end for Eddie Murphy. I did like Bowfinger, which IMDB says was made two years after this film, but after that, it’s kind of a sad little wasteland compared to his other films. Knowing this, the trailer is funnier.

1. Parents
This movie most likely sucks but wow, what a trailer! This trailed (proudly presented by VESTRON PICTURES) is a perfect collage of hauntingly vague imagery and meat close-ups and likely all of the film’s important dialogue. I don’t want to know what Randy Quaid is smiling about and any film that removes that mystery (likely this one) is complete garbage.

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